As if the wars between console fanboys (and fangirls) isn’t already bad enough, a new study looked to find out which platform fans make the best sexual partners.
Yes, this is a real study, done by VoucherCodesPro (who it seems run some sort of “money saving website”).
The study polled 1,747 partners of UK residents who would be considered gamers. Participants were first asked their partner’s gaming platform of choice, and then how they would rate their partner in the bedroom.
Right away, gamers aren’t off to a good start, as just 11% of those surveyed said their partner was “excellent”, with 14% coming in at “very good”. The biggest grouping was “good” with 27%, followed by “average” at 26%. Finally—and, thankfully, anonymously—20% of partners were listed as “below average”.
So which console had the gamers with the best overall ratings? That’d be the Xbox 360, where 54% of those surveyed gave their partner a ranking of “good” or above (with 22% reaching “excellent”). Next up, maybe a little surprisingly, was the Wii, where 47% of Wii players got a “good” or better.
Sadly, we got no numbers for PS3 owners, but also sadly, we did get numbers for PC owners. Why sadly? Because PC gamers faired the worst, with a meager 8% being labelled as “very good”, and only 3% “excellent”.
Those surveyed were also asked about the ratio of gaming to bedroom activity in their relationship when it came to their partners. 52% found the balance in their lives was “just right”, while 21% wanted “more sex, less gaming”. Ah, but the last response was especially interesting: 11% said they wanted “less sex, more gaming”. (Which could be good or bad depending on who you are.)
“So, according to our survey, it seems that if you own an Xbox 360, you can give yourself a pat on the back for bedroom performance,” said George Charles from VoucherCodesPro. “Well, one in five of you can at least. For other gamers it definitely seems there’s room for improvement. And despite it being an undeniably good game, perhaps Bioshock Infinite doesn’t act as a natural performance enhancer!”
So… yeah. Remember, this is all in good fun, so don’t take these results too seriously.