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Quitting in Team Fortress 2 is Now a Punishable Offense

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Posted on October 18, 2012 AT 02:58am

President and CEO of Mann CO Saxton Hale has decided enough is enough and has chosen to punish anyone who quits a round of Mann vs. Machine before the end.

In a very angry letter to Team Fortress 2 players he writes:

There are some words that, if I have to use them to describe a man, mean that man is dead to me. Also to everybody else. Because I will kill that man. One of those words is “hatless”. The other is “coward”.

I gave you mercs one simple thing to do: Defend Mann Co. from an unstoppable robot horde. Now Bidwell’s telling me some of you are abandoning the fight in the middle of attacks. Firstly: What am I even paying you in found money that falls out of robots for?

Secondly — actually, put this first, it’s more important — I am coming for you.

But thirdly, Bidwell’s drummed up some penalties for any coward he catches running away from the frontlines. If any of you cowards out there find these penalties too harsh, don’t worry about it, because see Point #1 (I am coming for you). Whatever penalties you get will seem like a day at the Being Afraid store (or wherever it is cowards like to shop) when I get my big angry hands on your beady little heads.

What are the penalties? I hear you ask. Well anyone caught leaving a match before the end will be temporally placed in a low-priority pool leading to longer matchmaking times.

Does this sound like a fair punishment?

Matthew Bennett, Associate Editor
Matthew Bennett finally got his big break with EGM three years ago, following years of volunteer work for various sites. An ability to go many hours without sleep and a quick wit make him ideal for his role as associate editor at EGMNOW.com. He often thinks back to the days when the very idea of this career seemed like nothing but an impossible dream. Follow him on Twitter @mattyjb89. Meet the rest of the crew.

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