Welcome to EGM’s Weekly Wrap. Each Friday, we’ll be rounding up the biggest news stories from the past seven days, along with some of the smaller but still interesting developments that may have flown under the radar, all in one convenient place for you, our dear readers. Be sure to check back in the weeks to come, and feel free to leave a comment letting us know what you like and dislike about the format as we fine-tune the feature.
This Week’s Top Stories
The most recent Injustice 2 patch stripped some players of their gear, which is still somehow not as infuriating as most of Ed Boon’s cryptic tweets.
Assassin’s Creed Origins will be getting an educational mode that will let you explore the game’s version of ancient Egypt without having to partake in any combat and will even include guided tours. Nice try, Ubisoft, but you’ll never trick us into actually learning stuff while we play video games.
Skyrim‘s new survival mode is going to be a paid mod. And you actually believed Bethesda when they said there would be no paid mods. What a bunch of suckers.
Destiny 2‘s latest key-based mystery ended with Bungie throwing loot at dancing players. You know, like strippers!
Responding to criticisms about the game’s lack of facial animations following its debut trailer, Shenmue III‘s developers showed off the game’s facial animation tech, replacing Ryu’s living doll death-stare with an equally horrifying approximation of what a video game might look like if its engine was built entirely out of nightmares.
More than a million players logged onto Fortnite‘s Battle Royale mode at launch, proving that even a boring, microtransaction-diseased game can find love as long as it apes a popular game type.
Rockstar Games debuted its latest trailer for Red Dead Redemption 2, causing thousands of people to cryogenically freeze themselves until spring 2018 as they realized that life will only be a deadening slog filled with unceasing, spirit-crushing trivialities for the next few months until the game is finally released.
Future Middle-earth: Shadow of War DLC that will memorialize the passing of one of the previous game’s producers will now be free after publisher Warner Bros. Interactive realized that maybe it wasn’t the best PR to profit from an employee’s death.
Friday the 13th retained its title of Most Disappointing Game of All Time by announcing that the single-player mode won’t actually have a story.
Nathan Fillion, the beloved actor who voices Destiny 2‘s most popular Hunter, actually plays the game as a Warlock. Excuse me, I meant “formerly beloved actor.”
Anthem is for sure getting a beta, and you’re for sure going to have to wait a long time to play it.
In Other News…
Bluehole, Inc. is now worth over $4 billion thanks to the success of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds. In other words, expect every game for the next decade to include a battle royale mode.
Following the success of the NES mini and Super NES mini, Commodore 64 is also getting a mini console, despite the fact that its entire fan-base is currently living in assisted living facilities for the elderly.
The most masochistic gamer in recorded history, i.e. a Dark Souls speedrunner, broke the record for earning every achievement in the game, clocking in at just under four hours.
A pilot named Harry Potter, one of the most notorious players in Elite: Dangerous, became the first player to destroy one of the recently introduced ships from the alien race, which is disappointingly not called Voldemort.
Surprising no one, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild won this year’s Tokyo Game Show Game of the Year award, which is apparently given out in August.
Players found an offensive formation in Madden 18 that the AI literally could not stop, which EA is promptly patching out, thus destroying humanity’s last hope at being better than computers at anything.
Code-divers found that smelling corpses was actually an action scripted into Half-Life‘s NPC coding, as if the game wasn’t already revolutionary enough.
Atlus confusingly tried to order a take-down against a PlayStation 3 emulator‘s crowd-funding page on Patreon, citing copyright infringement against Persona 5. In related news, Atlus is launching a Patreon campaign to fund the hiring of someone who actually understands what “copyright infringement” means.
The U.S. Navy is now starting to use Xbox 360 controllers to control periscopes on some of its vessels. We’re still awaiting confirmation that naval destroyers will allow custom button mapping.