Welcome to EGM’s Weekly Wrap. Each Friday, we round up the biggest news stories from the past seven days, along with some of the smaller but still interesting developments that may have flown under the radar, all in one convenient place for you, our dear readers.
This week, Nintendo continued to make attempts on Masahiro Sakurai’s life by announcing the next Super Smash Bros. game, Luke Skywalker declared his intentions to become king of all nerds, and Russian trolls were discovered to have weaponized video games.
Here’s a rundown of this week’s top stories and others you may have missed:
This Week’s Top Stories
Call of Duty: Black Ops 4, The Division 2, and the next Super Smash Bros. game were all announced in one day, marking the one day of the year where I experience anything remotely resembling the emotion you humans call joy.
Every Oculus Rift in the world stopped working due to a expired security ticket. Fortunately, practically no one owns a Rift, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.
Mark Hamill said he would star in The Witcher Netflix series as Geralt’s mentor Vesemir even though he has no idea what The Witcher is. Technically, doing a job for money with no emotional attachment whatsoever is basically the most Witcher thing you could do.
A leak about Grand Theft Auto VI suggested the series will be returning to Vice City and that it will have a female protagonist. If Gloria Estefan isn’t the main character, we’re going to be pissed.
Fortnite: Battle Royale was announced for mobile platforms, meaning your children can now be addicted to a video game even when they’re not home.
It was discovered that Nintendo had officially reinstated Mario as a plumber, making him the only plumber in the world that won’t arrive to your house three hours late and then charge a couple hundred bucks to unclog your sink.
In Other News…
A Twitch streamer recently completed a no-hit run of the entire Dark Souls trilogy back-to-back-to-back. The most impressive part is that he didn’t even summon a co-op partner when fighting Ornstein and Smough.
Nintendo is finally letting players buy games with their MyNintendo points. Now, all Nintendo needs to do is release more games that people haven’t already bought.
Overwatch League‘s Shanghai Dragons fired their coach after going 0-14, which probably had less to do with their coach and more to do with the fact that their entire team isn’t Korean.
President Donald Trump met with members of the ESA and game publishers to discuss violence in video games, even going so far as to edit together several clips from violent games like Wolfenstein and Sniper: Elite, as if we didn’t already know that Trump considers violence against Nazis a bad thing.