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Comic Countdown #58: X-Men Working Class (The Sequel!)

Posted on February 17, 2013 AT 08:12pm

Hello and welcome to a very special Comic Countdown! On the very first edition of this series, the topic was regarding possible job titles for the mutant heroes, The X-Men, if they were unable to be the super team that they’ve become. With over a year passing between this installment of the Countdown and the former (which is unfortunately unavailable due to DigitalNoob switching websites), it seemed like a good time to revisit this entertaining concept. With that being said, let’s take a look at ten heroes who could get by in the everyday world with their uncanny abilities.

#10: Box – Sculptor

Madison Jeffries, the mutant code-named Box, hasn’t been around for awhile, but his ability to reshape materials such as glass, metal, and plastic with his mind would make him a pretty great sculptor. Using this ability, he could think of a piece and have it done within minutes, meaning an incredible output with absolute precision and no physical work, giving him an unbeatable advantage when it comes to creating pieces of art.

#9: Magma – Geologist

For a woman who can create volcanoes and earthquakes, being dedicated to the study of these phenomenon would seem like a pretty easy gig. Amara Aquilla would have it made as a geologist, being able to manipulate the way the geological ways the world works and have a deeper understanding of them all at once. Also: her heat-related powers could also come in handy in a variety of ways.

#8: Forge- Mechanical Engineer

Forge’s ability to intuitively invent and create mechanics would make him the perfect engineer. He could design and create weapons and technology with incredible ease, and with his ability to instinctively know how to create these things, he could produce at an incredible rate.

#7:  Gambit – Demolitions Expert

He can make anything explode. This would make him the perfect demo expert, allowing him to use anything to create an explosion large enough to take out whatever was necessary. His charm and other skills would also come in handy when attempting to find work, allowing Remy LeBeau to find work with no trouble.

#6: Gateway – Taxi Service

Gateway could easily transport anyone at any time to wherever they would like to go. This would make his services a perfect match with being a taxi or travel service, since he could create a portal to anywhere in the world, as he did for the X-Men at one point. Plus, imagine the kind of fare he could get for a globe-spanning trip.

#5: Colossus – Mover

Having super strength and the ability to have basically invulnerable skin would make him the perfect choice to be a mover. He could grab nearly anything (and at time, probably several things) and transport them without a whole lot of effort, and his steel skin would prevent most things from damaging him during the transport. He may have the heart of an artist, but he has the physique of a strongman, making him a fit for this job.

#4: Blob – Sumo Wrestler

Fred Dukes is a nearly immovable object once he gets himself planted. Imagine anyone trying to get him out of a circle once he gets his body settled in. Of course, it’s hard to imagine his body in a sumo outfit, but that’s on a completely different topic.

#3: Mystique – Undercover Agent

If your job is to pretend to be someone else, having an ability to actually become other people would be pretty handy. There would be no cases of mistaken identity, no attempts to hide who you are, and no risk of having anyone know who you represent if you can look and sound like anyone at any time. This, combined with her natural cunning, make her a perfect candidate for this kind of role, assuming she shapes up and tries to help the world around her for a change.

#2: Magneto – Construction Worker

The Master Of Magnetism could move girders with his mind, build, weld and create with the simplest of motions and with his level of power, an entire city could rise from nothing in a matter of days if he put his mind to it. Being able to control all forms of metal means he can assemble and build at will, making it an incredibly lucrative business decision if he wanted to get into this industry.

#1: Multiple Man – Sports Team

Who needs other people when you can become an entire team of players? Jamie Madrox can create multiples of himself, allowing him to field any entire baseball team, if he so chooses. Whatever sport he’d like to play he can take on every position, making him a great fit to become the greatest athlete in the history of sports, and one of the few who could get Hall Of Fame status at every position.

That’s it for this week! Be sure to comment with any thoughts, comments or suggestions! Until next week, follks!


Russ Pirozek, known as "Noobcrawler" to some, is a gamer and comic book fan who sometimes gets around to writing for He's also awesome. If someone looked up "awesome" in the dictionary, his picture wouldn't be there, but that's because he's too busy being awesome to pose for a photo.

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