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Hey Console War Kids…

Posted on March 12, 2013 AT 05:22pm

So there are new consoles due to come out from Sony and Microsoft as well as the Wii U which is already out.  I think this is pretty cool in spite of the fact that I don’t really have the budget to dive in face first into the fray.  However, that doesn’t bother me so much. I can stand to wait until said systems become cheaper and there’s a whole wealth of games that I could still play.  What DOES bother me is that with the new generation of consoles to come out, there will be another “Console War”.  Another one of those awkward periods in gaming where a bunch of kids and adults begin taking sides and waging a verbal war like some obnoxious, suburban version of the East Coast vs West Coast Hip-Hop beef in the 90s.

I have only one thing to say about all of this… and I’ll say it before the new Xbox and Playstation come out.

“Hey Console War Kid… Shut the fuck up. “

That’s it… before you go on a tyrade about how this console is better than that one… or that A console has B exclusive games.  Just remember… shut the fuck up.  You being quiet will be the best thing that has ever happened to the gaming community and industry as a whole.  That behavior is as dead as “Blast Processing” and I think we would be better off without it. In fact I think it would be best if we promoted the idea of actually giving people a good ol’ dose of STFU whenever someone begins to preen about their preferred console. It doesn’t matter if they prefer the same console as you either.  As soon as they begin trying to talk down on another person for preferring another console or how X is better than Y… just tell them: “Hey Console War Kid… Shut the fuck up. “

I’m not saying it’s wrong to be a fan of a company that produces a console or that it’s wrong to be a fan of anything. I’m a fan of many things myself, particularly Metal. (SLAYERRRRRRR!)  Still, I don’t scream on fans for liking Testament or Exodus more.  Being a fan is fantastic but being “that guy” is just plain stupid in this day and age. Especially when people are prone to purchasing more than one console over time.  If you prefer to behave like this, then I see no reason for people to be nice to you. No one likes when the FPS kids proceed to bicker over their preferred Battlefield of Duty games so why bring yourselves down to their level? (Besides… both games are essentially the same. point, shoot, shout racial slurs, claim you got hacked and repeat.)

The way I see it, the main thing that separates these consoles is specs and what you wish to get out of it. I used to be a console war kid at some point in my life.  I used to praise the virtues of Nintendo and when Sony’s playstation consoles were in my possession I praised them as well. At the time I was like “XBOX IST MEIN ENEMY!” and continued to think so until… I got an Xbox.  When the PS3, Wii and Xbox 360 came out I practically had all three and the time I spent playing depended on the games I wanted to play and the necessary functions that I wanted from a system.   As a music fan I enjoyed the Xbox 360′s ability to play my music during gameplay. It allowed me to make the immersive experience of gaming MINE with the soundtrack of my choice. You’ve not lived until you’ve played a Survival Horror game with Black Metal or Drone Doom in the background.   However after the Xbox 360 I had got the red-ring of death and I went through three others that shared the same fate, I got a PS3.  I liked my PS3… in fact I still like it.  It plays games and movies when I would like them to and in the years that I’ve had it, it hasn’t died. The only problem I had was that I wasn’t able to play my music during gameplay… and I didn’t like the netflix interface. It was a bother, but not enough for me to start cursing PS3.  I take to a console like I take to a relationship with anyone.  Sure, they may lack certain things that you want out of your experience… but you don’t leave them because they have hang-ups on certain things you like to do. You stay with them because as a total package, they’re great in their own right and you can appreciate that. Whenever I got caught up in the middle of a Console War debate I never felt like I needed to prove something.  I only said that I switched to PS3 because my Xbox consoles kept dying. I guess I thought it would come across as even-handed but really all it led to was more snark from my more dogmatic peers.  I don’t talk to those people any more for that reason alone because I got sick of people pledging allegiance in such a fashion. It didn’t make any sense anymore… I honestly don’t think it ever did. Especially since it isn’t your silly little argument that wins a console war, it’s your money.  No one gives a shit what you have to say about your favorite console, not even the companies.  Unless you’re speaking with your cash, you’re not even speaking the correct language… and sometimes that doesn’t even work.

I figure since we’re at the point where growing up is being demanded of us as game enthusiasts… gamers… decreasing the amount of Console War Kid behavior could also be on our list of things to accomplish.

So Nooblets and people who just happened upon this… article… opinion piece. What do you think?  Do you know of some Console War Kids?  Were you a Console War Kid and how bad were you? (Power glove bad?) Are you a Console War Kid? If so, why?

I am a photographer for Depth Mental Photography and a metal vocalist for Redgrave Syndicate. I'm on twitter (@ReaperX_) where I can be found hashtagging ridiculous things. For DigitalNoob, I write music columns and some things that pertain to gaming. I like rubber ducks, Heavy Metal, sriracha rooster sauce, youtube vlogs, pizza and sometimes I tumblr. How are you guys?

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